i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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