I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
