i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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