oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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