Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
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Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
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Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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