im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
