I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
