you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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