scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
