She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize