Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
ok first of all what the fuck
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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