I heard we made out
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
