Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
