I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
