so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
