Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
