Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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