On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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