there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You ruined the universe
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
