Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
