she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize