It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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