you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
