I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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