im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
