Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
