So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I have vodka in my lungs
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
