How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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