How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
