The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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