Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
as a side note pls kill me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
