my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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