Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
