She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
