worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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