Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
