Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
