38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
