yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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