For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
ok first of all what the fuck
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
