it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just want to make out with him forever
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
