She's JV to your varsity
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Send help, water and tortillas.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
