My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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