being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
