Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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