one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
