Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
