Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I love having hate sex.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
