a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize