If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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