the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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