Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
