2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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