he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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