Kiss
Puke
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
