I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
