if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
