I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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