He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
