I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
