Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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