Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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