the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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