The best revenge is premature balding
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
