When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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