We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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