So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
