I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
